after the Burn

It's been 12 days since the Man burned. And a week since I came back to my "real"world. I suddenly feel so alone. Of course, I have my mom, who I take care of and, who was happy that I had such an unbelievable time. I have my co-workers who were glad to have me back at work and reveled in my tales from the unknown. But I'm empty without my friends, the first real friends I've had in years. The adventure, in retrospect, feels more like a dream. You know the kind where you're in a fantastical place, surrounded by your family and friends but you don't recognize them? You know they can be trusted, they love you and yet they're strangers. Strangers in the sense that you know their spirit - you feel connected to it - but somehow you know so very little of who they are. Where did they come from? Go to school? What about their family? Jobs? Passions? Disappointments? How did they end up in the same place at the same time? I feel kinda cheated that I know so little...that despite the enormity of the adventure that I didn't get a chance to learn more about these people I love. That I only got to live, really live, with them for one brilliant moment that was over before it even started. And then there was my own personal adventure, I barely had a chance to see anything...there was so much to do and I didn't have enough time!! Never enough time....
But before it seems that I sound dissatisfied...let me assure you that I had the most remarkable journey. Yes it was like a dream but it was more than in color in was in PANAVISION! in TECHNICOLOR! in CINEMASCOPE!!! It felt like the first time I stepped into Times Square times 10. The daytime was for embracing my community, for learning something about them or laughing or just chilling. The nighttime was when the city got an injection of adrenaline! If it was a breathing organism in the daytime it became a hyperventilating explosion of light and sound at night. Even the most focused person suffered from attention deficit disorder once the sun slipped behind the mountains. All of my senses were heightened but mostly the auditory and visual senses Perhaps the dryness of the area impaired my sense of touch, taste and smell. It was like every drip of moisture was sucked from my hands. My mouth full of dust or masked and my nostrils haven for indestructible concrete boogers! And I was ALIVE!There was no direction to turn that wasn't filled with lights and sound. I was disoriented almost every night until I found the big orange Safety Cone at the 3:00 portal - and lost the last night when it suddenly disappeared taunting me for not securing a second landmark! I danced and danced as if no one was watching at Robot Heart and Bump Bed...where did they come from I didn't understand just that the music pulled me in and wouldn't let me go till I was sweaty and spent.
And the Burns...the Core burns, Anubis, the Temple and the Man can anyone describe the sensation? You're probably a better writer than I am...
When can I go back home...?

snail mail

I have this idea for an art project. My hope is to bring it to Burning Man I was thikning something along these lines

• Get people to mail themselves a postcard to BRCPO perhaps something handmade
• Have it delivered by one of the BRCPO volunteers (I’ll be volunteering for certain!! – maybe I’ll document people receiving their mail!!)
• Put together some traveling art case to allow people to make their own outgoing postcard - gift them a stamp - and collect the mail and take it to the BRCPO to be postmarked after the Burn.
• Hang out at Center Camp, the Temple and some of the art installations, big theme camps and collect more mail. 
• I understand that in years past BRC has had a commemorative, special events USPS cancellation stamp.

I'm thinking it might be cool to send a card to some of the people I've met on eplaya. That way I could be sure to meet them in the dust...and wouldn't it be cool to bring them a card!!

The other thing I've been thiking about is gifting...I wanna make and gift

• Bacon Jam
• Peanut Butter Fudge
• Dark Choclate Fudge with Bacon
• Medjool dates filled with  something...frozen pear?
• Cookies
• Figs

This is just where my head is today...

next steps

Well I registered for my ticket! I looked over the form like 20 times after I registered before I hit send!!! And by the end of the day had convinced myself that I had enteredd somethng wrong..of course I didn't but until I get the confirmation that I have been awarded a ticket I'll be convinced that I said I live in Timbuktu...Next on my agenda of must do's is to decide about where to camp? It probably doesn't have to be the next decision, but it will give me something to get excited about while I save for my airline ticket. Up until recently I was pretty certain that I would camp with a group of gay sober people. But there seems to be a lack of activity on that user group, which undoubtly will change as the event draws near. However, since I've been on the eplaya I've connected with several people who stay in Barbie Death Camp and the "mayor" of that village asked me if I wanted to join their group of "ne'er-do-wells"!! I've been up and down on this thought..more up than down. First off, this is not a group of sober people...in all honesty they are the antithesist of sober..a hedonistic group of Bacchus revelers is perhaps a more apropos definition. Be that as it may is a small group of sober or non party people who, coincidently, are the same group I have found myself drawn to in the first place. So now I believe that I would prefer to camp with them in the depths of insanity...lol. I'm honestly not worried about my sobriety. I have been honest with myself about my intentions since I first decided to go. I'm aware of the potential for using at an event like this. But if I was going to use I could do it anywhere...
I will delay my decision until after I am awarded my ticket but we both know which camp I'll choose....don't we?

Ticket

Whoa! Well the holidays are over. This year was one of nicest I've had in I don't know how long. Maybe it was because this year I didn't have any expectations. Save making sure the holiday was good for mom. She had a great time, the family came to visit on Christmas day...no one thought about food or anything which was good because I had made sure there was enough and then some. In fact there was enough for them to all take something home!
But now it's time for TICKETS! That's right Burning Man 2012 main sale tickets go on sale in a few days! I'm trying to decide if I will go for it all and just register for all three tiers...or rather be prepared to pay up to the highest amount for a ticket! It means that if I should get a ticket at that level I will pay over $400, including S&H or whatever extra they charge over the cost of the ticket. The middle tier is $320 which would give me 25,000 chances to win a space. However if I kick it up to $390 it gives me an additional 15,000 chances or 40K. I could still win a spot at the lowest tier but:
Q: How do I increase my chances of getting a ticket in the Main Sale?A: You can increase your chances by opting into all the pricing tiers. (We believe, based on many years of analyzing supply and demand, that most participants will find they are able to access a ticket on an acceptable timeline.)
I figure as this is my first year I am willing to make some sacrifices in other areas to increase my chances. Or conversely if someone said "well you could have had a ticket if you had only agreed to pay another $70..." well...I'd be kinda disappointed. The bottom line then...how bad do I wanna go? The answer? Pretty bad! If by chance I don't get a ticket I will at least know that I tried as best I could. And isn't hat the way to apprioach anything? Doing the best ya can...

rant

I've been avoiding the eplaya for the last few days and I just figured out why! I was getting tired of all the boohooing about the new system they organizers are trying for ticket sales. It's a lottery of sorts and to listen to some of the people on there you'd think that someone had told them sorry you can't go! The way I understand it, there is going to be a pre-sale in December and then an open registration in Jan. You pick a price tier, the price you think you want to pay, and then there's a drawing and if you're name is selected then you get a ticket! Bear in mind there are like 50,000 tickets and while it sold out last year it took till June to do so.  The price has apparently gone up (what hasn't) so of course everyone is crying about that too! I guess I understand that if you've been going for several years it might be disappointing if your name isn't chosen but come on...grow a pair and get over it! I'm confident that there will be a fair chance for everyone to go and I'm truly not sweating it, cause I believe I'll score a ticket, dunno why but I'll register in Jan for a ticket I can afford and then wait for confirmation. But, in the event I don't...well I don't. Perhaps missing the event won't be as hard on me because I've never been and this is to be first year and I don't really know what I'll be misiing. But honestly there are a ridiculous amount of posts regarding this topic!!! WTF! If I wasn't sure the boohooers were the minority I'd be wondering if this was the place for me. Fortunately I've had the opportunity to trade barbs with some cool people who I think represent the majority of Burners...not entirely supporting the new approach but willing to give it a try. Chill people. Most of them trying to get people to relax and let the ball roll, pointing to the obvious waste of time getting all bound up for nothing! Ok thats my rant, more or less. I figured it would be saner to get it out here rather than make everyone read ALL THIS!
Peace

entitlement

What I want to know is when did we become such a self-absorbed society of entitled boobs? It seems everywhere I turn theres another example of this boorish trend.

On the eplaya (a forum of e-burners - those Burning Man residents who congregate online the other 51 weeks of the year) there currently is a plethora of topics regarding a new system for tickets that has everyone (or a small vocal bunch) befuddled. There is a recurring sentiment that some of authors feel that because they have participated before, or they are artists or they have purple hair they should recieve some kind of special treatment. I don't necessarily disagree with the idea that their historic support has made recurring years possible. But I would pose this question " would the event not have occured if you had not been present?" Yeah, it would have happened...in case you didn't know the answer to that question. Sure your participation is meaningful, but from a community standpoint is it anymore significant then the person who has been present 2 yrs or 4 yrs. Is it more significant than the virgin from last year, or the volunteers?

This is one of many examples of the selfish behavior we all run into each day. I'm getting kind of tired of it and have decided that, in as polite a way as possible, remind these people that we are all in this together. I'm not better or worse than you and deserve no more or less than you. Of course, if you have more money or have a more aggressive or creative approach to a situation you could get the advantage. But don't pull that I'm entitled crap with me - it won't fly!

I'm still just saying...

So many people I never knew I know

I was talking on a forum tonight on the Burning Man Eplaya and mentioned that "I wonder why there are so many people on here that I feel I've met before...???" I recieved many comment to the effect that...(ah, slowly, surely he becomes one of us)... and one woman forward the above picture that resonated that deja vu feeling perfectly...no coincidences...

check out some of her other images here if you have a sec... they are perfect!

ya gotta do it...

ya gotta do it!

awesome BM 2011 video!!

Burning Man reality

I seem to be having a hard time NOT thinking about Burning Man. I don't remember when I first heard about it...sometime when i was living in DC, in the late '90's I seem to recall, though the specifics elude me. I do recall that I was recently sober and my sober strongly advised not going as it was nothing more than a drug party. I know that during those years, and perhaps more of my life than I care to admit, I tried not to think for myself if possible. It's clear that it was the suggestion I needed at the time.  But over the last 10 years I have learned a lot about thinking for myself, I have made a ridiculous number of mistakes, but they were MY mistakes. And they've helped me become an adult, finally, at the age of 58.

A couple months ago BM popped up on my radar again..I don't recall how it happened but within 24 hours I discoverd for the first time that there were sober camps and even better there were gay sober camps. And a few weeks later I put out a plan to the universe...I would go to my first burn in 2012!!! It's out there now and I believe the stars , moons, gods...whatever... have aligned this way because I need to go. I have no real expectations about what to expect, well I do expect my life will change...more accurately I believe my life will begin.

I have some fear about all this. My greatest fear is that I won't go. I don't put to much stock in coincidence, at least coincidence with no apparent connection. I think that life offers up opportunities that we take or decline. I think this is my opportunity, that BM is an adventure that I need to take...repeat...NEED to take. My only other real fear is not having enough money. I try to put a little aside each week and have a loose plan on how to accomplish little goals toward the end goal...like first buy a ticket..a tent...gas money...I know that as I achieve each small goal the adventure will evolve before me and before long it will be August 2012 and I'll be heading into my life.

BM volunteering

I've been giving some more thought to volunteering at BM 2012. The official (?) recommendation is that it's not suggested the first year...but I like volunteering. It gives me a sense of belonging, purpose without which I feel like a visitor or guest or worse yet leech...lol! I'm comfortable helping people, a caretaker socioligists call it, so why not let what comes naturally do it's thing! Lamplighters and Exodus are still the top runners.

There's something about the ceremony of Lamplighters as well as the regularlity. It's the same time every afternoon; 5pm. My ADHD likes schedules and repetition! :) There appears to be a certain level of camradrie amongst the Lamplighters which is cool as I'm doing this thing solo and it would give me a chance to meet other people...not that I think meeting people will even be a remote possibility with 50,000 like minded people surrounding me!!!

The other options is Exodus which has potential for being a bigger commitment but also to minimize the anxiety connected to egress..blame it on the ADHD again...lol...but I have a tendency to get a little crazy waiting in lines. I've heard that the exodus is another part of the expereince and that there are "neighborhoods" that spring in the wait. The whole thing is staged and so these little neighborhoods last for like an hour at a time and the entire exodus can take 7 hours or longer so theres some fun to be had on the way out. All that being said I believe I might fare better helping coordinate a happy egress rather than socializing around my car...dunno perhaps I need to open my mind to the potential for something different..perhaps?

Will see what happens next...

BRC Volunteering

I had thought I would NOT volunteer for my first burn...ya know just enjoy the liberation of self and experience of the Playa. But the more i thought about it I think I might actully enjoy helping. I mean I like to volunteer as it makes me feel like I'm part of whats happening rather than a guest or observer. It is part of my character so why not? I was thinking of either Gate or Lamplighters both of which I found under the heading Volunteering. If I was to do the Gate I think I'd like to be part of the Exodus...I read somewhere that it is a hard team to get as everyone wants to leave...but how cool to tell peopel "bye...have a safe trip...see ya next year!" I mean cool! Lamplighters get to light the city at dusk and only requires a small commitment each day...another cool thing because you get to walk around saying hi and checking it all out! Again, cool! Well we'll let it go for today..I've thown it out to the universe...let's see what come back.

Burning Man Gear

I'm trying to gather my thoughts on what gear I'll need for BM2012. There is a Survival Guide that I've read through. Here are some things I know I want...

A tent, suggested it be canvas and Kodiak seems to be the tent of choice. It's not the cheapest or the lightest but it's suppose to be super high quality so I'm thikning it would be a good investment for more camping. Its the FlexBow Kodiak  and a 10x10 which is plenty big for a couple of people, gear, etc... price....$500.



The other thing is a bike. Beause of the environment, sand, wind...well, sand and wind is enough to ruin a geared bike so a single speed bike is what I'm thinking. The one I'm currently looking at is the Firmstrong Bruiser Prestige Single Speed Men's 26 Beach Cruiser, Matte Black w/Green Rims. It just looks like a cool bike, right??!!
...price...$225.

There are some cool other things like El Wire...in case you don't know...I didn't...its like a glowing wire thats very flexible and could make the bike like real cool... but it's not really a mandatory piece of gear...or is it? It starts about $30...could be more depending on how elaborate!




So that's my wish list as of today.

Oh, here is the Survival Guide MUST BRING LIST :
· Your ticket or your photo ID and confirmationnumber to pick up at ticket at Will Call
· 1.5 gallons of water/person/day (drinking, washing, & cooking) Always have a water bottle
· Enough food/beverages for your group
· An extensive First-aid kit
· Warm clothing for evenings –this is a desert at 4,000 feet elevation!
· Bedding & shelter of – the winds can exceed 75 mph, midday temps can exceed 100° F
· A good camp tent and warm sleeping bags. Evening temperatures can be in the 40s
· Garbage and recycling bags, and tools to clean up your camp site (rakes, etc.)
· Any required prescriptions, contact lens supplies (disposables work great), or anything
  else you need to maintain your health and comfort in a remote area with no services
· Flashlights and spare batteries (headlamps areuseful) to see and be seen at night
· Sunscreen/sunblock & sunglasses
· Fire extinguishers, to protect your camp and property and if you plan to burn your art
· Common sense, an open mind, and a positive attitude

Burning Man 2012 Road Trip

In preparation for my BM 2012 Road Trip I've mapped out a tentative plan. I've read that the first 18hrs after the gates open, which I believe is Aug 27, 2012 at 12:00 am, the lines are long. Be that as it may I'm planning to arrive around 5AM that day...which means that I need to leave apprx 9pm the Friday before Aug 24th.

15 hours (1000 miles) later I should arrive at my first resting stop,Vernon, TX...(pop 12001 ...really??? 12000 +1???) at about 1pm on Sat 8/25. Not even sure what is there...lol...but we'll see! After some rest (hmmmm....car or motel? perhaps not the best choice, rural TX, to stay...this might require visual perspective!) I'll head out around 9pm on the next leg...

to Las Vegas!! I should arrive there after another 15 hrs (and another 1000 miles) at around noon on Sunday 8/26...and get some sleep (does anyone get sleep in Las Vegas??). I think this time I'll stay in a motel as it will be the last real sleep I'll get for a week! The plan is to leave Las Vegas at 9pm Sunday night and drive the last 500 miles to.......

Black Rock City...aka...The Playa...

for my first tour of Burning Man! Oh yeah...I'm a dork!

Burning Man 2012

So I've made a decision to attend Burning Man in 2012. I wanted to go this event for several years...alright like 10yrs, but have always found an excuse not to attend. Mostly I think it is just fear...fear of what I'm not to sure but over the next 11 months I will document my thoughts and preparation as it unfolds. I hope in that time that I will be able to uncover whatever fear has been holding me back. Perhaps the discovery will open my heart and eyes to other fears and thus freedom from them. I believe that the result will be a life changing adventure.

I have found several links and have started a dialogue with one of the organizers of a sober camp on the Playa - Camp Stella and I have joined their Yahoo group and actually been in touch with one of their organizers....the great thing is that these are SOBER gay people experiencing the event together!

Burning Man 2012

I am determined to go to Burning Man 2012...there is a sober community that is present and I intend to experience it in 2012!!