change

There is an incredible amount of information available to anyone who wants to "change". But what is it that any of us wants to change... that makes a difference? For me I thought I wanted to be someone else...to feel accomplished or successful or important. The intersting thing I 've learned was if I honestly looked at my motives and the dream I was chasing the end result I desired was to be some form of superficial embodiment...none of which would bring me happiness. When I deconstruct, scrutinize or otherwise analyze those I would want to be I realize I don't truly know more than what is presented. Pain, shame, insecurities are not something most people wear on the outside except in extremes, so the idols I venerate, like most humans, suffer with their own demons and defaults.

So I'm left with this...if I determined what I needed to realize real happiness then perhaps I would then know what had to change. Ergo the only thing I need to change is my understanding of happiness. If happiness is the absence of misery and misery is defined as wretchedness of condition or circumstances then my life could be defined as happy. Iam not without challenges...but I have a job I like ...alot! And I have friends who love and respect me and want to be in my company. and...most importantly...I have family that love me for who I am and what I beleive in. Not a bad deal as those are the things that last, the things that matter...to me.

Perhaps you might value other things and that's ok, as long as I keep in mind that I don't have to subscribe to those values...OR....hold my values up to them for comparison. It's worth mentioning that I will stay happier if I neither judged your idea of happiness as better...or worse...than my own...mine is mine...yours is yours.

wallpaper2

Burning Man 2012

I am determined to go to Burning Man 2012...there is a sober community that is present and I intend to experience it in 2012!!

wallpaper1

I make these wallpaper images (1600x900) for my desktop...ya know..just little reminders to keep me focused..in case I forget, which I do more often than I would prefer! Anyway, a friend of mine thought I should put them up in case someone might like the reminder too! I wasn't too sure where to put them...maybe this isn't the best, but it's as good a place as any. I really only share the URL with people I trust anyway...so if you're reading this you certainly pass the trustworthy profile, or just happen to get here on your own...whatever. In the event you happen to like one of them...just click the image, then right click to save...

If you've stumble across this blog and I've used an image that belongs to you and you don't want it distributed let me know and I'll remove it. Most of the phrases or words are from my head or inspired by someone elses head. Exact quotes are acknowledged. Images are generally found online and treated in Photoshop.

breathe

I recall sitting in an ashram in Atlanta listening to the teacher reminding her students to stay in the moment....the tool she taught us to use that night was ...the breath...

It was all about feeling the breath as it made its journey in and out of the body. It's an amazing thing when you stop to consider the breath passing in and out...it's all but impossible to be anywhere except in that moment...its peace.