after the Burn

It's been 12 days since the Man burned. And a week since I came back to my "real"world. I suddenly feel so alone. Of course, I have my mom, who I take care of and, who was happy that I had such an unbelievable time. I have my co-workers who were glad to have me back at work and reveled in my tales from the unknown. But I'm empty without my friends, the first real friends I've had in years. The adventure, in retrospect, feels more like a dream. You know the kind where you're in a fantastical place, surrounded by your family and friends but you don't recognize them? You know they can be trusted, they love you and yet they're strangers. Strangers in the sense that you know their spirit - you feel connected to it - but somehow you know so very little of who they are. Where did they come from? Go to school? What about their family? Jobs? Passions? Disappointments? How did they end up in the same place at the same time? I feel kinda cheated that I know so little...that despite the enormity of the adventure that I didn't get a chance to learn more about these people I love. That I only got to live, really live, with them for one brilliant moment that was over before it even started. And then there was my own personal adventure, I barely had a chance to see anything...there was so much to do and I didn't have enough time!! Never enough time....
But before it seems that I sound dissatisfied...let me assure you that I had the most remarkable journey. Yes it was like a dream but it was more than in color in was in PANAVISION! in TECHNICOLOR! in CINEMASCOPE!!! It felt like the first time I stepped into Times Square times 10. The daytime was for embracing my community, for learning something about them or laughing or just chilling. The nighttime was when the city got an injection of adrenaline! If it was a breathing organism in the daytime it became a hyperventilating explosion of light and sound at night. Even the most focused person suffered from attention deficit disorder once the sun slipped behind the mountains. All of my senses were heightened but mostly the auditory and visual senses Perhaps the dryness of the area impaired my sense of touch, taste and smell. It was like every drip of moisture was sucked from my hands. My mouth full of dust or masked and my nostrils haven for indestructible concrete boogers! And I was ALIVE!There was no direction to turn that wasn't filled with lights and sound. I was disoriented almost every night until I found the big orange Safety Cone at the 3:00 portal - and lost the last night when it suddenly disappeared taunting me for not securing a second landmark! I danced and danced as if no one was watching at Robot Heart and Bump Bed...where did they come from I didn't understand just that the music pulled me in and wouldn't let me go till I was sweaty and spent.
And the Burns...the Core burns, Anubis, the Temple and the Man can anyone describe the sensation? You're probably a better writer than I am...
When can I go back home...?

snail mail

I have this idea for an art project. My hope is to bring it to Burning Man I was thikning something along these lines

• Get people to mail themselves a postcard to BRCPO perhaps something handmade
• Have it delivered by one of the BRCPO volunteers (I’ll be volunteering for certain!! – maybe I’ll document people receiving their mail!!)
• Put together some traveling art case to allow people to make their own outgoing postcard - gift them a stamp - and collect the mail and take it to the BRCPO to be postmarked after the Burn.
• Hang out at Center Camp, the Temple and some of the art installations, big theme camps and collect more mail. 
• I understand that in years past BRC has had a commemorative, special events USPS cancellation stamp.

I'm thinking it might be cool to send a card to some of the people I've met on eplaya. That way I could be sure to meet them in the dust...and wouldn't it be cool to bring them a card!!

The other thing I've been thiking about is gifting...I wanna make and gift

• Bacon Jam
• Peanut Butter Fudge
• Dark Choclate Fudge with Bacon
• Medjool dates filled with  something...frozen pear?
• Cookies
• Figs

This is just where my head is today...

next steps

Well I registered for my ticket! I looked over the form like 20 times after I registered before I hit send!!! And by the end of the day had convinced myself that I had enteredd somethng wrong..of course I didn't but until I get the confirmation that I have been awarded a ticket I'll be convinced that I said I live in Timbuktu...Next on my agenda of must do's is to decide about where to camp? It probably doesn't have to be the next decision, but it will give me something to get excited about while I save for my airline ticket. Up until recently I was pretty certain that I would camp with a group of gay sober people. But there seems to be a lack of activity on that user group, which undoubtly will change as the event draws near. However, since I've been on the eplaya I've connected with several people who stay in Barbie Death Camp and the "mayor" of that village asked me if I wanted to join their group of "ne'er-do-wells"!! I've been up and down on this thought..more up than down. First off, this is not a group of sober people...in all honesty they are the antithesist of sober..a hedonistic group of Bacchus revelers is perhaps a more apropos definition. Be that as it may is a small group of sober or non party people who, coincidently, are the same group I have found myself drawn to in the first place. So now I believe that I would prefer to camp with them in the depths of insanity...lol. I'm honestly not worried about my sobriety. I have been honest with myself about my intentions since I first decided to go. I'm aware of the potential for using at an event like this. But if I was going to use I could do it anywhere...
I will delay my decision until after I am awarded my ticket but we both know which camp I'll choose....don't we?

Ticket

Whoa! Well the holidays are over. This year was one of nicest I've had in I don't know how long. Maybe it was because this year I didn't have any expectations. Save making sure the holiday was good for mom. She had a great time, the family came to visit on Christmas day...no one thought about food or anything which was good because I had made sure there was enough and then some. In fact there was enough for them to all take something home!
But now it's time for TICKETS! That's right Burning Man 2012 main sale tickets go on sale in a few days! I'm trying to decide if I will go for it all and just register for all three tiers...or rather be prepared to pay up to the highest amount for a ticket! It means that if I should get a ticket at that level I will pay over $400, including S&H or whatever extra they charge over the cost of the ticket. The middle tier is $320 which would give me 25,000 chances to win a space. However if I kick it up to $390 it gives me an additional 15,000 chances or 40K. I could still win a spot at the lowest tier but:
Q: How do I increase my chances of getting a ticket in the Main Sale?A: You can increase your chances by opting into all the pricing tiers. (We believe, based on many years of analyzing supply and demand, that most participants will find they are able to access a ticket on an acceptable timeline.)
I figure as this is my first year I am willing to make some sacrifices in other areas to increase my chances. Or conversely if someone said "well you could have had a ticket if you had only agreed to pay another $70..." well...I'd be kinda disappointed. The bottom line then...how bad do I wanna go? The answer? Pretty bad! If by chance I don't get a ticket I will at least know that I tried as best I could. And isn't hat the way to apprioach anything? Doing the best ya can...