breathing

Breathing it would seem is more than just a means to live…it is the way to live. My teacher, my beloved (Swami) Jaya Devi, was teaching the other night. She spoke about when we learn to love ourselves…"when I get thin then I'll be happy", "when I get this job, then I'll be happy"…"when I get the love of my life, the car, that…whatever"…I've lived my whole life tying to find some external "thing" to make me happy.. It's what fueled my addiction, my search for something to make me happy… or rather to remove my pain! She has taught me that the giving to others will lead me to happiness. It won't give me happiness. That comes from inside. If I love myself I can be happy. Compassion, benevolence, humility and confidence, these characteristics will lead my way. And living in the moment is the key…how? Breathing! I asked Jaya Devi this question not long ago;

My question was this; how does one get back in the moment when the ego is fighting so hard to be the center of attention?

Breath by breath, with both will and surrender. You breathe in everything you feel and breathe it out again. On each breath you know that even in the middle of all the chaos and struggle, you are okay. You are loved and connected and you are okay. You don't even have to do anything to be okay, you just have to remember that you are, and the breath is the key to remembering.

When you grow, you must employ both compassion and awareness. Awareness of what is going on – my lower mind is kicking up a sandstorm of emotion – and compassion for everything you have lived through, even the current moment. Then you can look at yourself and your lower mind with the eyes of love and say, "even this is okay, I love and I am okay." The lower mind is like weather – it passes through and sometimes has great effect, but it is not permanent. Let it pass through you but don't be tricked into thinking it is who you are. Know that I love you, my sweet man.