remember

wtf...

A couple years ago my mother had an accident that compromised her neurological system and necessitated regular live in care. We have family living in the same city as she does that was unable/unwilling to assume the care so I left my job and moved to FL to care for her. It was a choice I made without hesitation when it became obvious no one else wanted the task. She and I have made a lot of progress (both in our own ways...lol) over the last couple years and she is no longer confined to a wheeelchair and while we've debated a lot on her caloric intake she has put on some healthy weight and gained some strength. She made enough progress that I returned to a fulltime job so I could get insurance for myself and add to her social security we lived on for the last couple years. When I took a FT job we asked an adult woman who was new to sobriety to help out. I'm clean for 6 yrs and knew this woman though her sober mom. She made a deal with her mom who offered her a safe place in her home as long as she was serious about staying clean and actively particiapted in her own recovery. 10 days ago she was arrested for possession during a weekend jaunt to her old stomping grounds 4 hours away. To be honest I was initially pissed as shit. I felt betrayed and further it caused my mother some emotional sadness that I didn't want to see her endure. After a couple days though I've moved through my intial anger to accept the fact that what really made me mad was the inconvenience it was going to cause me! Funny how the selfish child in me is never very far from the surface.
Today I feel for this woman and hope that somehow she can find the courage to humbly accept the reality of her choices and move forward without a crack pipe.

why or how?

...which is harder... to figure out what you want...or asking for it!

perhaps it is a matter of perspective?

mine? I think figuring out what I want has always been the harder!

my hope? when I do figure it out, that I have the courage to ask for it!

ya gotta do it...

ya gotta do it!

wallpaper 3

wallpaper2

wallpaper1

I make these wallpaper images (1600x900) for my desktop...ya know..just little reminders to keep me focused..in case I forget, which I do more often than I would prefer! Anyway, a friend of mine thought I should put them up in case someone might like the reminder too! I wasn't too sure where to put them...maybe this isn't the best, but it's as good a place as any. I really only share the URL with people I trust anyway...so if you're reading this you certainly pass the trustworthy profile, or just happen to get here on your own...whatever. In the event you happen to like one of them...just click the image, then right click to save...

If you've stumble across this blog and I've used an image that belongs to you and you don't want it distributed let me know and I'll remove it. Most of the phrases or words are from my head or inspired by someone elses head. Exact quotes are acknowledged. Images are generally found online and treated in Photoshop.