change

There is an incredible amount of information available to anyone who wants to "change". But what is it that any of us wants to change... that makes a difference? For me I thought I wanted to be someone else...to feel accomplished or successful or important. The intersting thing I 've learned was if I honestly looked at my motives and the dream I was chasing the end result I desired was to be some form of superficial embodiment...none of which would bring me happiness. When I deconstruct, scrutinize or otherwise analyze those I would want to be I realize I don't truly know more than what is presented. Pain, shame, insecurities are not something most people wear on the outside except in extremes, so the idols I venerate, like most humans, suffer with their own demons and defaults.

So I'm left with this...if I determined what I needed to realize real happiness then perhaps I would then know what had to change. Ergo the only thing I need to change is my understanding of happiness. If happiness is the absence of misery and misery is defined as wretchedness of condition or circumstances then my life could be defined as happy. Iam not without challenges...but I have a job I like ...alot! And I have friends who love and respect me and want to be in my company. and...most importantly...I have family that love me for who I am and what I beleive in. Not a bad deal as those are the things that last, the things that matter...to me.

Perhaps you might value other things and that's ok, as long as I keep in mind that I don't have to subscribe to those values...OR....hold my values up to them for comparison. It's worth mentioning that I will stay happier if I neither judged your idea of happiness as better...or worse...than my own...mine is mine...yours is yours.