being available

I'm over cell phones! I no longer like the fact that they make me available 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I know that I can always choose NOT to answer it..but...ya know what happens then - the text msg! Is it just me or is the text message the final chapter in the decline of civilization? I have friends who use that "tool" to a fault, though any use is subject to a foul a far as I'm concerned. Are we so caught up in ourselves that we can't take 1 minute to call?? And I call bullshit on the argument that "sometimes there is no time to call", or"I wasn't in a place I could talk"!! WML - call me when you have a minute, it's OK. If you're running late I'll figure it out when the appointed time strikes. here is one text I don't mind...call me!

When what I know isn't what I feel

I was always under the misguided belief that there was a Prince Charming..that one day he would come along and life would be so much more. I totally bought into the Cinderella phenomena; that there aforementioned fantasy was real and that any moment he would show up with my other Nike Shox! I was always under the belief that there would be that One Perfect Love...ya know the one. That one close to perfect guy that I fit together with like a puzzle...the one who "had me at hello". Imagine my surprise when I found out, no, make that - finally believed the previous mentioned fantasies were in fact no more than that. SHIT!
Well the Prince thing I get, but I still wonder if there wasn't the One Perfect Love? If I subscribe to that belief could I presume that during T.U.Y. (The Using Years) that maybe I did, in fact, meet this Mr Wonderful and was just too bonzo to know it and he simply got on a different train than I? Perhaps that OPL has expired! Following this theory, if I know (or choose to believe) can I then stop looking/waiting and just f'n got on with LIFE. Perhaps I was not cut out to be a one-on-one sorta guy (no punned intended). So I wonder, perhaps I ought to approach this from a different perspective and maintain several relationships with men that each serve a different purpose. I could have "movie guy", dinner guy", "gym guy, "sex guy" "coffee guy" "kickin at the park guy"...the list might be endless or maybe some guys serve a dual role.."movie/dinner", "gym/sex" etc...
Maybe the roles are not even that clear, but I know that I need to re-think what I know and put it in line with what I feel.

dare to participate

life generally seems to me to be about opportunity and choice. i know it's probably more complex than that but i'm a simple guy and so keeping it simple in all things make my life a little more relaxing. i have a hard time with stress. what i'm beginning to realize is that i have had a plethora of opportunity and refused to make a choice...procrastinating on what the right choice would be. as of late i seem to be making more choices, albeit not always the best choice, a choice nonetheless. life is about these things and about making choices and participating in the outcome of those choices. the best part is that if it's not the best choice i'll no better when the choice arrives again.

mindfulness

I've been trying to be more mindful lately. It's very much like living in the moment for me. Being conscious of where I am in the world...my connection to whats going on around me. Listening. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. My mind is sorta like one of those superballs..all over the place bouncing off everything and taking forever to settle down. A friend of mine put it in terms I could wrap myself around "its like going to the gym and training a muscle...repetition and practice"